reply of a deaf heart

Most things are best settled when we decide to participate IN ITS END..

i will forever be your shadow
'coz you can't see me in the dark..
though i was here, you can't feel me
though you were there i feel cheated..
you thought i was gone..
yet, i am just seeing you from afar..
'coz i can't bear looking in your eyes
afraid that i'll cause the salty water to overflow..

you haven't seen me entirely..
for you were distracted by the light
you cross the path just to get there
never noticed that you were stepping--
on the broken pieces of this dumb deaf heart..

this heart is made of tinted glass
yet, your eyes are so powerful--
they can see through it while others' can't.
Sadly, the light passed through them
blinding them perfectly..
so you failed to see the other half..
the other half--
that's still unfixed yet consistently falling..
waiting for you to catch them piece by piece
and put them back as half of the whole..

your palms didn't open..
your fingers remained folded..
my deaf heart was calling your name..
"foolish heart! you are really dumb!
don't you know you're also mute
she can't hear you stupid!"

You continued your steps and failed to notice
the scattered pieces of the heart made of glass..
you stepped on to them..
the sharp edges sink deeper
you were hurt
by my brokenness..

i wanted to save the windows from the pouring rain..
but i missed to close the door from the flood awaiting to conquer..

i hate the process of FALLING iN LOVE--
when your mind can't think straight and your heart can't let go..
when you want to stop but its gravity is pulling you stronger..
and you keep on fighting to end it but your will becomes weaker..



i hate the process of FALLING iN LOVE--
when you act like a fool and you don't mind that fact..
when you build expectations yet no commitment was made..
when you rely on someone and you are not worth trusted..



=STILL, I CAN TAKE THE PROCESS DESPITE IT CLEARLY DEFINED THE RISK=


BUT, I JUST CAN'T TAKE THIS LINE TOLD BY A BROKEN GIRL TO AN ORDINARY BOY:

"--but im glad someone's keeping me happy now:)
I maybe not your girl but atleast you're sure I'll stay.."

SHE DIDN'T MEAN IT.

Have you ever seen yourself so lucky?--
that you are indeed proud of what you are?--
that you see yourself bringing sunshine in one person's life?--
that you wake up each morning having that wide smile that even reaches the depth of your soul?--

Have you ever felt so special AGAIN in your life?--
that you have found another reason of your existence?--
that you are making a purpose on this planet to some strangers?--
that you believe your past nightmares are finally over?--

I HAVE~~THEN.

Have you experienced being broken AGAIN?--
by another person who you thought is different from the first one?--
that you thought would be willing to accept you after all?--
and you tried to give yourself another damn excuse just to fall?

Have you felt the SAME familiar pain AGAIN?--
finding out she is feeling the same happiness you once tried to give her?--
that you realized the same words she gave you belongs to someone else now?--
and you were JUST one of her PAST who never passed her standards?--

I GUESS~~I HAVE TOO.

~~Beanizer about to explode~~

He is the one who owns a deaf betrayed heart--
She is somebody who takes love as a true art--
He is so impatient, he doesn't want anybody's trust--
She is but amazing, protecting her heart is a must--

They met in a built-world, where sentiments are seen--
She caught his attention, he thinks she's a prize to win--
She taught him to say sorry, though he doubted if it can mend--
She got him under her spell, he didn't notice it is a dead end--

They exchanged beautiful lines, it is more than heaven--
He trusted his feelings, she asked him to be just her friend--
He said it was fine but a dream was never forbidden--
She said he made her smile, he thought it was a great thing--

Little did they know, they were not in the real world--
For the place where she met him, is the place of the unheard--
No matter how well he expressed it, words didn't prove enough--
No matter how she read them, he was not her prince so tough--

He loved her complications still she complicated it the more--
For her heart remained sealed, he's stupid to believe he's in its core--
Too late for his brain to warn him, his heart became his head--
She still loved her old past, she made his deaf heart now dead--


~~beanizer_05~~