reply of a deaf heart

--m a y b e ?--

--from d sender--


make SOMEONE a

who MAKES you ONLY an

--believe me,

I was listening to some music when I remember some part of my past.

I used to cut work just to have a date with my past love..

There were hundreds of reasons we argue about..

Our views always collide..

Our likes never meet..

Her favorites were never in my list..

The only thing that connects us in some way is—MUSIC.

She loves singing though she’s out of tune (she rarely admits)..
There was a time before when..she got mad at me..it’s all because of one song. The thing was, I can’t get the right tune of that song, so she ended singing alone. I can see how disappointed she was..she said it’s OUR song and I didn’t even appreciate it. I laughed seeing her in that state. So she sat on a bench ignoring my presence. I didn’t say a thing or apologize. Instead, I held her hand and led her to that same videoke room again. I chose that one and only song in the machine more than 3 times. I was really out of tune..but then, she finally smiled..and laughed seeing my eagerness singing that song. We sang the same song again and again ‘til I find my tune. She laid her head on my shoulder after we had our last. I knew I made her happy.

If ever you wonder what song it is..listen to this..

--but we were never careful on each other's hearts..

“SPECIAL IS DIFFERENT FROM IMPORTANT”

SPECIAL- someone you’ll never forget for the rest of your life..

IMPORTANT- someone you need for the rest of your life..

So tell me,,

AM I IMPORTANT OR SPECIAL?

--this message was sent to me a long time ago..and it made me confused at that point ‘coz I don’t know which answer is better than the other..playing safe, I said-BOTH...

Now it made me think again, there are many people who had and who will have special spaces in our hearts..but does it always follow that they all play an important roles in our lives?
There are so many passers-by we meet in different roads—

some will share their sweet smiles..
some will shed tears with you..
some we will forever remember..
and some will remain just strangers..

SPECIAL--We CAN’T hold on to them all through out our lives, often we have to move on..not because they have hurt us, not because we have dried our eyes crying for them, not because we value them less..BUT because..we MUST love ourselves more, and they made us learn how to live without them. They are part of beautiful chapters in our lives. They made our lives wonderful because they taught us the value of RESPECT and TRUST. –these are the values we missed to understand ‘coz we are blinded by their selfishness and betrayal. If we open our minds wider, we will then be aware that their way of hurting us- is but the same way of getting us back the values we lost for our own selves. For such reason why we call them SPECIAL—is due to the fact that they created an impact in our lives, SPECIAL ‘coz sometimes they made our lives extra-ordinary. No one can replace each SPECIAL person we have, not even the new found love. No one has the same level of their love, no one has the same weight of the pains they’ve caused us..and that made them SPECIAL.


IMPORTANT- We MUST hold them as long as we live. They are the ones we fail to value FIRST but in the END COMPLETES our whole being. They are the ones we SAVE THE BEST OF US. They are our soulmates (if we believe in such). They are the perfect pieces we’ve been missing for a long time. They are the ones who accept us ‘til we’re in our death beds. They made us know our priorities and we put them on top of it. Important people are like the organs inside your body. A part of your system. They can’t change your past, but they can move your future. They can’t make you forget your memories, but they will make the best moments of your present reality.

--behind these thoughts, YOU must be grateful for all of them..either they’re SPECIAL or IMPORTANT..’
Why? –‘coz they came into your life for the SAME reason—
MAKING YOU
H A P P Y

One of the things I surely won’t do is locking someone in my life. I rarely ask for second chances, I hardly ask someone to stay against their will.. if I do, that person must be really special. I can beg a maximum of three chances to make someone stay. In those chances, I am trying to understand her, the world and me. Despite I needed someone so much, I don’t have enough guts to hold her. They say love is holding on..but others say it is letting go—the latter I believe.

If I happen to make someone smile, it’s a fulfillment.
If I happen to make her frown, it’s a failure..
If I happen to make her hate me, I have nothing to do..
If she wanted me to let her go, I would do so..

I must let her go not to break her heart..but to let her save it from me..i am not a heartbreaker yet I am not a heart-programmer..
I won’t beg her to stay ‘coz I don’t want her to be unhappy again..

Message in the line:
“ There would come a point that we have to let go of someone we truly love, not because we don’t want them anymore or we stopped loving them..but because THEY’LL BE HAPPIER IF WE LET THEM GO.”

They say the only thing that is permanent in this world is CHANGE. Maybe such is the reason why some people wanted to change everything. Regardless of the subject, change is constant. I love changes when it comes to physical matters, to material things, to developments, every thing the bare hands can feel..but not with the untouchables-the attitude and the character.

The fear of changing my being is unchanging. At some point in my life, I managed to change my self, I learned to be unselfish, to give more than I can, I had given time more than its value. I was happy, I thought I made the right decision of changing into someone I am not. Until one day, the person who changed my world left me behind. It seemed to be an endless journey of finding one’s self. For months I tried to get my old self back, but I was totally lost.

After the long struggle, I found myself back, the very self I am now. Along with this old-self reunion was a promise not to risk for changing the character again. I told myself not to please any one just to make them stay. Yet, sometime, someone became so special that a part of this ego was forgotten. I thought I was good enough, but I am still not a saint. The dark side of my being slowly has been trying to make its way. I didn’t hold it back. It was a conscious choice. Simply because, I don’t want to be loved as a good person. I can make few changes in my beliefs, but not too much.

I never wanted someone to change because of me. Fair enough, that, I don’t want to change for someone who can’t accept me as me. If what I did and what I have at the moment won’t satisfy my precious one, I have no choice but to give up. I don’t want reach her standards to prove my love for her. I f she can’t be contented now, there’s no time she will be.

I will never be a better person for someone who won’t consider me as one.
And if ever I wanted to, I need her to teach me how..



not to leave me in an instant.