Monday, August 24, 2009

reply of a deaf heart

..she called a million times..she said she loves me..she said i am the most important person in her life..and so she can't live without me..i kept silent. nerves can't help but reminisce those memories..painful..cruel memories..

..i cut work juz to have a date with her..i was there every single call..i didn't leave..she fooled me..i believed her..she broke a promise..i gave her more than second chances..she pursued her dreams..i supported her.. i kept in touch just as i did promise..she called day and night..i called every moment 'coz i thought she needed that strenght,the comfort..but..she turned cold..
..she came back, didn't reach her dream..she blamed me..i was a distraction after all..we broke up..
..i spent days and nights faking in front of every one else..i seemed to be tougher but tears can't stop falling..saddest christmas, sorrowful new year, tearful valentine..she was with her new man..
..i was tired..i gave up..i let her go..i wanted to move on..for six months i was a deaf..she called..asking to bring the friendship back..still i didn't listen..
..i received a message from her mentor..she failed her dream again..i felt guilty though I knew I have given her my silence so as not to be the source of her distraction..she called up..finally I answered..she needed me..i showed up..i was damnly afraid..afraid to hear those words again..
..i pushed her away..she cried..she hugged..i can’t stop falling..i cried..i fell in those lips again..we made love again and again..but the marks of the past were like blades that sunk deeper and deeper in every touch..i always knew she had the other guy..
..she left again..pursuing another dream..i kept silent.. she calls at nyt..she sends the same messages..”I miss you..” ..i answered nothing.. I’m wondrin’..will I ever hear her again? heart badly can’t hear those will never listen to the same sweet promises..never again..
..she made me the heart so numb..the heart that once gave every beat to her name..the heart’s once ready to leave everything just to be with her missing piece..the heart that rejected the mind..the heart that is nowhere to be found..the heart scared to fall again..the heart who doesn’t anymore care to love again..the heart that has no rhythm..the very heart that won’t listen again..