Friday, May 14, 2010
Dear ________,
I wish the past didn't happen. I always wanted to wake up with no hatred lurking inside me. I feel so tired of hating you and all the worsts that happened to us. I know I should forgive everything so I can totally move on. But until now I can't. The smartest way is to avoid you, but how can I do that if you keep on coming back in my arms? There are times I am convinced of your love. When I think of how you keep waiting despite of pushing you away again and again. You seem so numb not feeling every pain I was giving you all the way. Do you have no pride left for yourself? Why are you doing this? Why do you keep begging for the same love?
Everybody knows you have the best life. You got everything you wanted. Your friends envy you. You are born the luckiest. Everyone can't say a thing against you. Even my family loves you. And it leaves me all alone having this pain you have caused.
Your presence makes me confuse myself. Your caresses make me weak. I feel helpless every time you put your lips onto mine. Your scent stays in my nostrils, it is the same potion you've been using to keep me wanting you more. You are so uncontrollable, yet you keep controlling me. You know how to read my every move and you know how to dance with it. And it's killing me not to love you.
I wish I could tell you all these facts. But I won't. 'COz the moment you will hear these words, then you will know you have the right to own me again. I wish I could stay as a sweet lover as you used to know me. I wish I could reply to your -i luv you- without hesitation behind my deaf heart.. I just wish I could stop thinking of you now.. 
unwell,
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