Friday, January 29, 2010


He is the one who owns a deaf betrayed heart--
She is somebody who takes love as a true art--
He is so impatient, he doesn't want anybody's trust--
She is but amazing, protecting her heart is a must--

They met in a built-world, where sentiments are seen--
She caught his attention, he thinks she's a prize to win--
She taught him to say sorry, though he doubted if it can mend--
She got him under her spell, he didn't notice it is a dead end--

They exchanged beautiful lines, it is more than heaven--
He trusted his feelings, she asked him to be just her friend--
He said it was fine but a dream was never forbidden--
She said he made her smile, he thought it was a great thing--

Little did they know, they were not in the real world--
For the place where she met him, is the place of the unheard--
No matter how well he expressed it, words didn't prove enough--
No matter how she read them, he was not her prince so tough--

He loved her complications still she complicated it the more--
For her heart remained sealed, he's stupid to believe he's in its core--
Too late for his brain to warn him, his heart became his head--
She still loved her old past, she made his deaf heart now dead--



~~beanizer_05~~

Thursday, January 21, 2010

~~destiny??~~

~~DO YOU BELIEVE IN DESTINY?~~
Have you found the right one for you? Your missing piece?
Do you believe in undying love? Have you experienced one?
Do you consider him/her as an answer to your prayers?
How long have you waited to be with him/her?
How can you tell he/she is your perfect match?


The things listed above are the few of the common matters we often ask when it comes to LOVE..Common questions we approach with different answers..common questions we often miss to ask ourselves.

I would probably find myself in a hot-seat and burn my ass if someone will throw these questions to me. Why? I don't know. I can only define my general understanding of this confusing subject but I doubt if I should rely on my own perceptions.

Now, if some readers stumble in this post..I would appreciate their interpretations..

Beanizer has gone tired with this subject..

it's time to relax and just listen..

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

TRUST vs TRUST

The most common issue in any kind of relationship that some unhealthy couples failed to pass, some lucky-enough lovers conquered, some crazy- forgiving martyrs misunderstood, some broken hearted people valued in the end is


Most say, it is a test in a long-distance relationship. Others further, it is an act of love and understanding. Still some suggest not questioning its meaning. Which is much applicable? Does it really matter?

I think the problem arises when TRUST complicates TRUST. Confusing? Well, I’m more than confused too (hehehe).
But seriously, I realize that the more we rely on the word “TRUST”, the lesser we trust other people.

Until now, I keep on telling myself, DON’T TRUST TOO MUCH”. Is it because thinkers are doers, and that I am not the type who can’T be trusted too? Hmmmm, that, I keep silent, ask my friends in that case (if then they tell you I am a cheater, no doubt, they are CERTIFIED LIARS!)

Getting back to my statement, TRUST COMPLICATES TRUST is based on my own experience which I don’t want to get into details. Okay, a little sharing of what happened..
I tried to put a TRUST test on someone whom I wanted to accept me without giving much information about my whole being.
I did it simply because I want to assure myself that I have found the real one who will be contented upon accepting the simple ways that would make her feel important. Few actions that would make her realize how much greater time and love I can give on the very day God allows for me to hold her in my arms. And that she would say, “IF HE MAKES ME SPECIAL NOW THAT WE’RE NOT YET TOGETHER, HOW MUCH MORE IF HE’S ALL MINE?” I wanted to know how well she can live with the patience with neither seeing nor hearing me. I kept observing the reaction of the person expecting constant responses.
I am hoping the impossible to happen—an unconditional acceptance. But of course, I was wrong.

Human as we are, we have restless minds. Unending whyS, so many questions. I was blinded by my own ambition of having been accepted without doubts. I was insensitive of the other person’s way of thinking and feeling.
I only listened to my own reasons, denying the fact that I knew what she wanted to happen though she didn’t say them.
I was sweet, rude, thoughtful, selfish, impulsive, caring, jealous, understanding, doubtful, sensitive, insensitive. Whoever accepts this complicated character is a FOOL (such reason why my friends are kinda retarded, hehehe).

While I was doing the test of TRUST on the person, I never noticed I was losing her.
The more I tried her faith, the more she was losing it on me.

I JUST WANTED TO BE TRUSTED..BUT I FAILED TO TRUST HER TOO.

And so everything ended in a wink..WHEN MY IDEAL TRUST COMPLICATED MY CONFUSED TRUST.<

Friday, January 8, 2010

--learning now--

~let me share the following lines i've written way back in high school..pardon the words..so elementary..not so good playing with syllables, this is entitled..

A HEAVEN IN A HELL


here i am in desperate destiny
asking myself why you leave me in misery
it is easy to forget- as they always say
yet it's hard not to hate it even just for a day

goodbye is the last word that came from your mouth
your reasons of departing often leave me in doubts
i'm not anymore a martyr who'll long to love you with all my might
but a stone-hearted lover who'll continue and learn how to fight



i was an idiot on the day we first met
never noticed you treat me like a real pet
and i keep on acting like evrything's all right
even though i can feel you holding me so tight

i cant't yell at you when i see your warmest smile
i can't tell myself the truth but only a lie
leaving you is a word i can't even tell
for being you is like a heaven in a hell!





~when i made this piece, i dedicated this to no one, i was not hurt or broken in those times (honestly),, but now, i think i can relate to my own writing~

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

--unknown subject--

What makes a person gamble love?


Not all people who wanted love knew it. Not all couples who are bounded by love feel secured. Not all who needed a lover search love. Not all who waited love get the chance to be loved back.

Some people decide to be alone not because of pain. Some people leave their lovers not because of hurting. Some people give up not because of tiredness. Some people choose no one to love
not because they don’t feel it.

Love is a game of endless rules. The gamblers of this subject should act as a real warrior in a wide battlefield. The risk of investing in this business entails a stronger spirit ready to hold and let go at any possible time. Love knows no definite hour. Love never guarantees the waiting. Love never assures long days, months and years.
Love does fade if not polished well.

Loving is a choice.
Choosing nothing is not a choice but an escape.