Wednesday, January 13, 2010
The most common issue in any kind of relationship that some unhealthy couples failed to pass, some lucky-enough lovers conquered, some crazy- forgiving martyrs misunderstood, some broken hearted people valued in the end is
Most say, it is a test in a long-distance relationship. Others further, it is an act of love and understanding. Still some suggest not questioning its meaning. Which is much applicable? Does it really matter?
I think the problem arises when TRUST complicates TRUST. Confusing? Well, I’m more than confused too (hehehe).
But seriously, I realize that the more we rely on the word “TRUST”, the lesser we trust other people.
Until now, I keep on telling myself, “DON’T TRUST TOO MUCH”. Is it because thinkers are doers, and that I am not the type who can’T be trusted too? Hmmmm, that, I keep silent, ask my friends in that case (if then they tell you I am a cheater, no doubt, they are CERTIFIED LIARS!)
Getting back to my statement, TRUST COMPLICATES TRUST is based on my own experience which I don’t want to get into details. Okay, a little sharing of what happened..
I tried to put a TRUST test on someone whom I wanted to accept me without giving much information about my whole being. 
I did it simply because I want to assure myself that I have found the real one who will be contented upon accepting the simple ways that would make her feel important. Few actions that would make her realize how much greater time and love I can give on the very day God allows for me to hold her in my arms. And that she would say, “IF HE MAKES ME SPECIAL NOW THAT WE’RE NOT YET TOGETHER, HOW MUCH MORE IF HE’S ALL MINE?” I wanted to know how well she can live with the patience with neither seeing nor hearing me. I kept observing the reaction of the person expecting constant responses.
I am hoping the impossible to happen—an unconditional acceptance. But of course, I was wrong.
Human as we are, we have restless minds. Unending whyS, so many questions. I was blinded by my own ambition of having been accepted without doubts. I was insensitive of the other person’s way of thinking and feeling.
I only listened to my own reasons, denying the fact that I knew what she wanted to happen though she didn’t say them.
I was sweet, rude, thoughtful, selfish, impulsive, caring, jealous, understanding, doubtful, sensitive, insensitive. Whoever accepts this complicated character is a FOOL (such reason why my friends are kinda retarded, hehehe).
While I was doing the test of TRUST on the person, I never noticed I was losing her.
The more I tried her faith, the more she was losing it on me.
I JUST WANTED TO BE TRUSTED..
BUT I FAILED TO TRUST HER TOO.
And so everything ended in a wink..WHEN MY IDEAL TRUST COMPLICATED MY CONFUSED TRUST.<
But allow me to be serious ano! Yes, as i can picture that situation (although i don't exactly know the story) you became insensitive and selfish towards her. At some point, people would still want to know more of you as they get a little curious of who u really are, eventhough how much u would make them feel love / cared. Its in our nature, i guess. Like in my experience, i once fall in love with a "poser". It was hard especially when i've already fall inlove with him and when i knew he wasn't really the guy on the picture. (ayan kc kkalandi.hehe) That's why, i guess if i were the girl, il definitely ask you again and again til i get what i want to know, jst be careful nowadays..u can't just trust people...like what u said, u hoped for the impossible to happen, dats true. Why not tell her everything about u? Like u said, if she/he cant accept who u are, then its her/his problem...watcha think?
wag kna kc pasuspense! hehehe sori nphaba..=P
hirit kpa nay?
:( sna dmo q tnwag na NAY. hmp!
bt seriously, tnx 4 comenting here..i ws planning 2 remov ds post sna kc prang wlng nkbasa..hahahaha..
Also: I don't think "whoever accepts his complicated character is a FOOL" - aren't we all more or less like that?
tnx robbie!..do visit my other sites if you have time..tnx..u make me smile:)