Friday, December 11, 2009

**can't hurry love??**

Is waiting always the best proof of true love?
At some point, hmm…maybe. (?) ..
If the measurement of love is waiting, does it take an assurance that you will not be taken for granted in the future? When is the right time to wait? What is the best reason to wait? Why do we need to wait?

I am one of the most impatient living creatures on this planet. I hate the idea of waiting though I won’t deny the fact that I am always late in any sort of appointments and gatherings. Well, not at all times late, but I hardly come on time or earlier than expected (except when it comes to work, hehe). Ok, I am unfair in that part, it’ll be nice for them to wait but I can’t wait for them longer.
I missed a call the other night, and missed again last night, so I got the message,
“I’ve been calling you all the time, until when will I keep waiting for you to pick it up?”
At first, it sounded funny to me, getting someone annoyed waiting. But then, I remember,
”Am I not waiting for someone too?”
I am keeping someone waiting, and I keep on waiting for someone. Ok, this is stupid. I feel stupid. And I do accept it, this time, I am stupid. I keep on believing the quote “Time is of the essence” --by..who again? ok, I forgot.
Yet, why do I keep waiting for someone who “might” want me to stay, but doesn’t show a single care of my waiting. If someone values you, why do we need to feel rejection and loneliness? If I am special and has a ‘lil space in one’s life, then, why do I feel not important?
As much as I want to keep a promise and build a stronger faith, I feel weaker when I have no one to trust my feelings. It’s like spending your last days on earth with no one but your own self knows it. It’s like holding your breath underwater and every time you let the air go, you’re getting near death. It’s like waiting for Christmas day but you only got to live on the 24th and no one cares.

If we know we will regret letting someone go, why do we need to keep them away? If we are confused and don’t understand ourselves, why don’t we stop asking and searching for answers? If our dark past haunts us, why don’t we take the present lighter? If we are afraid to be hurt again, why don’t we learn to handle our fears? If you’re scared to experience the same thing your loved ones had, why don’t you make your own story and think that you came into this world with your OWN life to live and not because of them?

13 Comments:

  1. wytwitch said...
    maybe. coz u can nver say if wat u are waiting is the "true love" u've been wanting. ders no assurance, ders only a chance for u to grab it and well, make it d true love of your life. i guess its just a choice. if u really want it or want someone and time seemed asking u to wait, then wait and be patient. and if things went wrong wid our choices and decisions, we shud always be prepared. never be afraid to take risk, never be afraid of waiting and never be afraid of the pain. and friend, dont be impatient. God's time is never late and ders always 'the ryt tym' for all of us. coz in waiting, it will definitely give you an answer wen the ryt tym comes. at pag dumating na jowa ko sa Jan.! hahaha sabay gnun noh? :D nkrelate kc ako...hey friend, hope u'r ok. :)) i smell sumthin fishy kc..hehehe peace >.<
    mushymushy@gmail.com said...
    hey love it..actually you wrote the things that i am feeling at the very moment..
    your the one who is on the emo mode right now huh?...
    beanizer_05 said...
    haha..honestly, i ws wondrin f both of u (mushy&witchy) wud react on this..i am mch aware u both r n a LD reltnshp..though myn is quite dfrnt..sum1 s hoping 4 me 2 wait..but human as i am, many things tickle my mind..wel, tnx 4 d responses frends:)

    4 mushy: we o hav r emo modes..and ds tym..lonelines came 2 see me..it's fine, we need 2 b lonely sumtyms..


    4 witchy: u'r ryt, God's tym is perfect..often we are given options, but we r so scared 2 take risk and so regret i d end..we tend 2 play safe so not to fail agen, not knowing dt wenevr we prevnt rselvs frm hurting, we r hurting dem..hey, ds s a long coment huh..smel sumthin fishy??--hehe, maligo ka kc..srilng amoy lng yan..peace!!!
    MysteriousMe said...
    Everything, every word, it was everything I was feeling. It spoke to me. I mean, now I know wat I didn't. So thanks for that!! You did an awesome job:) thanks for sharing it!!!
    beanizer_05 said...
    hey deeja! tnx 4 readin my blog..i thot u 4got me..haha..m wondrin wt u feel now..bt m glad d post serve its purpose:)
    Elyon said...
    I understand what you are saying.. I am trying to cope right now with a personal crisis..
    beanizer_05 said...
    tnx elyon! m sure u cn get over dat..juz hav gr8r faith and surely u'l overcum dt burden :)
    wytwitch said...
    wow, im lovin da new backgroud! *wink

    abah abah abah! hehehe oo na, i admit na nakarelate ako and i have to comment at napahaba pa yta comment ko! but hey, i love this post..really..and, naligo ako noh! hahaha kc naman emo-emohan and drama mo..chos! take care friend ^^,
    beanizer_05 said...
    haha..hayaan m na,,pmnsan2 lng nmn aq ng.eemo eh..eh ano b kc inaamoy2 m jan..hmm..
    ..ow u luv d lay-out?..actualy, i acidntaly dstroyd d last 1..i juz chuz d lay.out bt stl waitin 4 my wiz frend to pimp ds..she's a pro n ds thing..meri xmas!
    kyungmee said...
    beanizer, you touching so many...your writing is very emtional and telling! I wish you the best!! Wishing you also a wonderful holiday and happy new year!
    beanizer_05 said...
    hey tnx 4 dropin agen:)
    best wishes 4 u 2!..mor beautiful shots next yr,ok?..il b waitin 4 ur xcellent angles agen..happy new year (n advans!)..
    Rml said...
    Wow, this is great! Loved your writing, and I felt it.
    Also: when you said you hated waiting, but hardly ever comes on time or early for appointments, I thought "Thank u! I'm not alone then!"
    Have wonderful holidays!
    beanizer_05 said...
    Rml, tnx 4 readin my post..
    it's true, i really hate w8ng, bt i luv oders 2 wait..heheh..wel, it's nt really ntentional..i juz cnt b on tym..haha, and m glad 2 knw m nt alone 2 :)
    i cnt promise myslf 2 b punctual ds 2010..so, no resolution..
    HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

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