reply of a deaf heart

It's funny how people laugh at us when we pour our sentiments in an ill-mannered way.
They arrive to conclusions that we are totally wrecked. What they don't understand is it's all part of being in a relationship. I don't understand why they are too eager to destroy people. I hate them but I pity them as well. I pity their disability to love and having no chance to be loved truly.  'Coz if they do have been in love, why can't they accept the hard fact that they're not part of the story? A villain, yes. But a villain is always be  defeated.
To you, saying your name here will only ruin my post, but anyway,
I'm sorry to break this up to you..YOU WILL NEVER WIN.

I suggest you should consult your doctor often and have proper medication 'coz I seriously don't think you are well.

I'm not faithful in updating this site..but every post i make reveals all I am feeling at such point in my life. I was surprised that some people try to question my own thinking, misinterpret my lines and give unsolicited advices.

After reading the comments of my readers on my previous post, a mixed feeling settled inside me. I smile to those who can understand, I wonder which part confused some, and I'm a 'lil disappointed to a few who gave negative conclusions.

Yes, I can't please every one---this bitter fact I needed to swallow, too bitter that even my chocos can't defeat.


Still grateful for my readers,
~~beanie

This song explains what i feel at this very moment..
I do feel this every time i remember you..
I just don't know how to make you feel more special each minute..

Dear Hon,

I may say the same words again and again everyday.
I may tell you the same sweetest lines every minute.
I may even say the same things the past used to give you.
You may hear my same serenade each time.
I may not be original.
I may not be the charmest of all.

The one who'll lift you up when you're the saddest.
The one who'll pick the guitar and sing your song.
The one who'll do the craziest just to hear you laugh.
The one who'll be mad when you miss your meals.
The one who'll make friends with those closest to you.
The one who'll tell you to stop crying
'coz tears can't be recycled.
The one who'll dream of you even not sleeping.
The one who won't promise but will stay to see you smile.

A once stranger.

A once friend.


Just me.

Every second thanking the heavens for making me believe in love again..
Because you came.


I love you.

Most things are best settled when we decide to participate IN ITS END..

i will forever be your shadow
'coz you can't see me in the dark..
though i was here, you can't feel me
though you were there i feel cheated..
you thought i was gone..
yet, i am just seeing you from afar..
'coz i can't bear looking in your eyes
afraid that i'll cause the salty water to overflow..

you haven't seen me entirely..
for you were distracted by the light
you cross the path just to get there
never noticed that you were stepping--
on the broken pieces of this dumb deaf heart..

this heart is made of tinted glass
yet, your eyes are so powerful--
they can see through it while others' can't.
Sadly, the light passed through them
blinding them perfectly..
so you failed to see the other half..
the other half--
that's still unfixed yet consistently falling..
waiting for you to catch them piece by piece
and put them back as half of the whole..

your palms didn't open..
your fingers remained folded..
my deaf heart was calling your name..
"foolish heart! you are really dumb!
don't you know you're also mute
she can't hear you stupid!"

You continued your steps and failed to notice
the scattered pieces of the heart made of glass..
you stepped on to them..
the sharp edges sink deeper
you were hurt
by my brokenness..

i wanted to save the windows from the pouring rain..
but i missed to close the door from the flood awaiting to conquer..