Monday, April 19, 2010


The most beautiful words by a wounded heart:
"I never stopped loving you, I just stop showing it"

Message sent followed by my number. Sent back by my past love last night. I don't remember the exact day I gave the message to her. Maybe it was on the time I was struggling to move on.

Whatever purpose she has upon returning the message, I didn't ask. No need to ask when you know the damage has been done. Feelings change when hearts have been broken.

That time when I have the nerve to send that message was the time I can't let things go. I put a lot of pressure for myself to work things out. I asked for second chances though I was the fooled one. I ignored the pain though it's choking me. I swallowed until the last pride I got inside just to gain her back. But she didn't hear..she can't..she won't.

My heart was totally crushed before the year 2009 started. Until now, it remained crushed. It's traumatized.

What is worst today? Every 20th marks the special day we had before.
She did greet me like she used to do. I didn't reply.
She'll be back anytime today. Should you wish me luck?

~beanizer-- trying to understand


  1. An Ordinary Gal said...

    It is my opinion..

    If you have leave the things in past. Don't look back now bcz things will never be the same and it will hurt you more.

    Learn from past and look forward
    beanizer_05 said...
    You're right Riya..
    It's just..sometimes we can't stop to feel the pain again..
    This is my emo please bear with my sentiments..hehehe
    ravali said...
    sometimes you show up like some one else,not like that kiddy boy who resides in you!!!
    beany we have to keep moving on in our life that's called a life!!!
    if i got sticked in my worries until now then i wouldn't be like this anymore!!!!
    so move on!!!
    you will definitely get a good partner who loves you a lot more than you does ok.keep smiling!!!!
    beanizer_05 said...
    yup.i have moved on..
    i told you, this is my sad site..
    and you're right..i can find the one for me..
    An Ordinary Gal said...
    hmmm i know it happens..
    bella said...
    hey beani....sorry am late! i dont think i have any right to advice you....but still i will! thatz what friends are for right?.....listen you done with your kind off managed to move on in your now why look back.......! just deal with your present life....dont let your past trouble'll definetly find someone special who'll be with you forever.....
    beanizer_05 said...
    @ riya:
    hmmmm..what happens....???

    thanx. all comments and suggestions are accepted, this is the purpose of comment boxes, right? are all right..moving on and forgetting the past..

    thanks people:)
    Leona said...
    How very ..emotional.

    Like I said, there's a limit to people, and sometimes things just aren't enough.
    beanizer_05 said...
    true, things just aren't enough to some people and we have nothing to do about that..
    JollyPrincess said...
    Thanks for visiting my blog Beany. I hope you could really come. It would be nice to see you in person not as a kid in your profile photo.

    You are not alone in felling low at times my friend. Let us be thankful we had learned to blog. In this way we could write our sentiments. Thank you for sharing the real you, I would pray for healing whatever are those that bother you. Truly blog connects. Keep posting …

    I actually tried posting this comment to your other blog Unveil Your Sentiments but I just can not post this comment in there.
    sudhi said...
    Beany donno y i found this blog vry emotional..... (SOB SOB)
    beanizer_05 said...
    @ Ms. JP:
    Thanks for droppin here:)
    Yeah, i am lucky to found myself such way we can burst our emotions.
    and again thanks for visiting my other fix the comment box soon..
    sure i'll be there..but im still a kid eating lollies but not in the pot:)

    ahmmm...hehehe..tnx for giving time:)
    sudhi said...
    maya said...
    glad 2 no ur feelns thru ds blog....none of us cn tell u hw much tym u nd 2 grieve abt ur past luv....but all i cn say is u r wastng da tym dat u r havn ryt nw nd ders nuthn dat u cn do abt ur past...evry day nd evry minute makes a diffrnce so so dont waste it by lvng in da past....
    vrientirs18 said...
    Hai Bean, it's my first time to visits blog site, I got interested and aroused by your blogs. I just realized it was not only me who love the wrong one. And honestly after years I still love this guy. I love him but I can't show it 'coz he's loving another girl. The moment I knew it, it seems that the whole world crushed on me. But still I understand the fact that we cannot choose the person that will gonna love that's why at that moment I learned to let him go. Last word he said, "What if one day I'll go back". I just turned my back and tears fall upon my face as I walked alone, away from him. At this moment I just wish that angels in heaven hears me to pick me up from this vain and despair. Still my heart beats with so much pain.

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