Wednesday, September 9, 2009

breaking a promise

..didz’ blog made me think…09.09.09..a perfect number..and what is the next exact date of the year.. a triple 10..i paused..i remembered, it’ll be her birthday..she’ll be 23 by then, the exact age I am now..why am I thinking this way..i don’t like the feeling..here we go again..memories..memories..

her 1st birthday we shared together was with her classmates and their mentor..i was so attached with them, I built a friendship with the people--my classmates (in college) would least be interested knowing..(that course-related issues)..i forgot and broke our class rule because of her (it wasn’t really a rule to hate them,,heheh)..i got to know them well, after office I was attending their classes as a regular student and my attendance is a must..(damnly stupid)..it was fun..and that dinner date with the class on her day was really special 

..on her 2nd birthday, she was in their review school..i took a leave from the office and travelled by sea in an hour to surprise her on that day..only her friends knew I was coming..and there, I met them in the church..i saw a teary-eyed lover smiling in front of me..

..that was then..

..now is a new chapter..

..two nights ago, she texted..’hi..how are you’—
and i gave her the same answer “pls do leave me alone”..

she insistd..and so I called her..i asked her nicely to let me go..

she refused..

i felt my face turned red (she’s getting n my nerve)..
she said” juz let me contact you..”I’m sick right now..pls just let me do this..”

.. still..my answer was” NO”..

..the worst, she wanted to meet me in my apartment again, "we’ll talk..i’ll spend a night with you..”

i tried to give excuses but she’s willing to wait..finally I told her, “I don’t want to see you again”..

..she begged, “please, this will be your birthday gift for me”..

..I kept silent..until I said my final NO..


Now, I am deeply bothered..what will happen after 30 days..her another birthday..


Should I make this day special for her?

Or..

Should I stick with my promise to my deaf heart?//090909

6 Comments:

  1. ilikeseven said...
    We had the same thought there: today is 090909, so what's next? ppl would be trying to figure out what's so special abt 101010? Hehe, I guess we are the typical Geminians.
    Ok, I got lil confused here: when was her bday supposed to be? the 09th or the 10th? and who's dumping who? I don't mean to butt in into your old stories/memories, just to point out that if she's the one who had ditched you before, then I'm proud of you that you still stay solid strong to say NO to her no matter how hard she has begged you. Way to go Beanizer! Hehe.
    So her another bday is coming as you said. The question is: would you like to risk yourself again to go back down that painful road?
    ambiguous_angel said...
    whew.
    That was sad..
    Honestly, i am really curious about what happen in your relationship, how come you're saying no, how come all of your post are so sad, did she did something, did you do something?how can a beautiful love story comes to a tragic end? And how come that despite of everything you do, you end up broken.
    Ow.i wonder.

    Hm.anyway, reading your blog is a nice break from stressful week..
    Keep it coming..
    beanizer_05 said...
    ..thanks 4 d response..

    it’l b on the 10th didz… d way I see it, it is she hu dumped me 1st..i did beg 4 her 2 cum back few months aftr thebreak-up, but she didn’t want me then, I ws so despr8 at dt tym and my closest frends wer der to com4t me..i taught myself to live w/o her, and I think I did...but now, it’s d odr way ‘round..and I honestly don’t like it..last night(999) she sent me those words again..and I’m but pissed.

    ..8’s a long story Angel,..trust and respect matters now..i’l pour dem all out in my blogs (sooooon)..ol I know s --I’v been a dumb faithful lover..and I do hope I’l nvr get blinded again..
    ilikeseven said...
    In that case beanizer, then you don't deserve someone like her. You'll be that fool all over again plus why be the stupid fisherman, ryt? :P hehe. Way to go there, it wasn't your fault now. She made a decision back there now what? she's telling how much she loves u and all? well don't fall for it. You've been hurt already, no use wasting your time on a girl like that.
    beanizer_05 said...
    ..hahaha..u'v found my coment on angel's blog>>..yup, u'r dfntly RIGHT..i dnt wnt 2 b a stupid fshrman catchng d same killer fish, hahaha..
    ..and yes, i dnt need to waste time on her..
    ..NO RECYCLE :)
    ..thanks.
    ilikeseven said...
    killer fish?!....as in Piranha? Hahaha! Yup, don't go for that kinda fish, go for gentle ones next time, errrmmm..seabass I guess. hehe. Your welcome, wala problemo there. hehe

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